“Everyone’s different” — It’s one of those cliche things to say.
But, you don’t realise how much it bugs you until being different inconveniences you.
I remember often being told that when you meet someone with dementia, you’ve only met one person with dementia. Even the Alzheimer’s Disease Association programme for persons with dementia and their caregivers tailors its activities to each person’s individual interests. Simply because everyone is different. While one person enjoys colouring, the other person might hate it.
Looking at this from another perspective — you can’t expect children with special needs to respond in the same way as children without special needs.There has been recent talk on inequality in Singapore. If you truly accept that everyone is different, you can’t broadly use “self-reliance” as a blanket remedy for low-income Singaporeans who live in rental flats, expecting them to progress in the same way as the rest of cosmopolitan Singapore.
A few weeks ago, I made the decision to not continue being in full time employment so I can spend more time and focus on Play Huahee. It makes me different. While in some scenarios, being different is perceived as a good thing. It’s not the case in the decisions I make and it’s something I often struggle with.
I have met with quite a bit of resistance in this decision. I tendered my resignation recently, and am soon entering the semi self-employed life. The moments that led up to this were difficult. I often asked myself why couldn’t i just be happy in a full time job like everyone else. I had to deal with the disapproval of my parents who couldnt see past the holy grail of our central provident fund. It’s definitely much easier to go to work and be certain of a fixed paycheck every month.
Being different sometimes feels like a curse when it inconveniences you. It can be painful when you look around you and realise you are just, not like everyone else. But, I guess it takes time to accept that everyone is different and because of that, things dont always work out the way we want them to. For me, I’ve chosen a different path and the only way forward is to make it work.
While having to care for a loved one who is different may cause you much heartache and inconvenience, this forces you to see things differently And, learn new things about yourselves and your loved ones everyday. Maybe, one day the pain and struggle of being different can transform into something beautiful… if we take it positively.
